The Things We Say

We've all heard the line "kids say the darndest things."  It's true.  My sweet nephew once told his Gramma he couldn't possibly go to sleep because his eyes were too big.  Smart, huh?  My friend Mary's children really say hilarious things.  She blogs here to document all the fun.  (**side note: You must check this out.  Even if you don't have kids, it's funny.  And if you know Mary, well, it just makes it that much more fun!)

As funny as little people can be, I am most amazed at the change in myself.  It's true, parenting makes you sound like, well, your parents.  *Shudder*  Once in a while, I catch myself saying something absolutely and truly ridiculous and I feel the need to share.  Here are a couple of my awesome mom moments:

"Dane, give the booger to Daddy."  This one is self-explanatory.  I mean, what the heck do I want with Dane's booger?

"Dane, eat your marshmallow."  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  Honestly, I was just trying to have an adult conversation with my BFF after dinner one night.  She had served s'mores for dessert so we gave the boys marshmallows.  Dane said "want down, go play" about 80 times before I could get him out of his high chair, and "eat your marshmallow" was my response.  Mom of the Year.  Right here.

"Oh, wow.  I put his poop-stain undies on him for his 2-year well check."  I said this right in front of our pediatrician.  I guess I wanted her to know that I noticed and he doesn't always wear poop-stain undies, but the minute it came out, I felt even more embarrassed.  

"Please get your hand out of your butt crack."  Ever since we potty trained Dane, he has an obsession with his crack.  I have no idea why.  There is no rash.  As far as I can tell, it doesn't itch.  He just has better access to it now I guess.  I don't expect I'll stop saying this one anytime soon.

What are some goofy things you've noticed yourself saying to your kid(s)?

What I Learned at CPST Training

Last week, I spent three days taking a course to become a Child Passenger Safety Technician (CPST).  I know, I know.  How could it possibly take three days to learn how to install and check a car seat?  I thought that too.

I had all my dress clothes packed and ready to go.  (My company paid for this training because one of my "hats" at work is Health and Safety Officer.)  I'm expected to represent the company in a professional manner, and had packed clothing appropriate for a business function.  A day or so before I left for the training, I got an email from the instructor advising attendees to dress in "workout type clothing."  Um, what? Well, thank goodness I listened!  For three days, we went back and forth from the classroom to the field, taking three written tests and three skills tests.  Other than lunch, we really didn't have a break, and sometimes class ran late.

I couldn't believe how much information there was!  I guess when you look at the fact that every vehicle is different, every child restraint is different, every child is different, and then throw family dynamics into the mix, there are endless possibilities.  My brain is still buzzing with all the things I *thought* I already knew.  I even found two things that we were doing wrong in our own car seat installations.

Since I cannot possibly check each and every one of my friends and family members' car seats, and I'm sure many of you don't want me to, I thought I'd just hit a couple of high points.

1.  After-market products:  I never ever realized how dangerous these could be.  I mean, I know not to put my child in a snow suit and then strap him into the car seat, but items like this are essentially doing the same thing!

Anyway, if it did not come with your car seat, or didn't say specifically that it could be used with your model of car seat, do NOT use it.  There are other, safer ways to support a newborn.  (And they're free!)

One big culprit that Jonathan and I are actually guilty of is this little contraption.

I won't lie.  It's amazing.  It lets you get the seat belt super duper tight in seconds.  But you can actually get your seat belt too tight.  Sounds crazy, right?  But it's true.  These belt tighteners have been known to put too much pre-crash tension on the retractors of the seat belt and cause the retractor to fail in a crash.

2.  Switchable retractors that aren't locked:  Most newer cars have seat belts that are on a switchable retractor.  This means you have to pull it all the way out to lock it before strapping the car seat in.  We came across several car seats at our inspection station that weren't actually locked in the car.

3.  Not rear-facing long enough:  I knew that rear-facing as long as possible was the safest option, but I wasn't sure exactly why.  Well, the "why" in this equation happens to be a horrible thing called "internal decapitation."  It's where the skin and muscle is still connected, but the spinal cord is not.  Keep your children rear facing as long as they still fit the height and weight requirements of the seat.  This video does a great job of showing why it's important to keep children rear facing as long as possible without being graphic.  If you'd like more information on why it's important, there is a ton of information that can by found by searching Google and/or YouTube.

Lastly, I encourage you to find a CPST or seat check event near you.  You can search by county, zip code, or city on this link.