As funny as little people can be, I am most amazed at the change in myself. It's true, parenting makes you sound like, well, your parents. *Shudder* Once in a while, I catch myself saying something absolutely and truly ridiculous and I feel the need to share. Here are a couple of my awesome mom moments:
"Dane, give the booger to Daddy." This one is self-explanatory. I mean, what the heck do I want with Dane's booger?
"Dane, eat your marshmallow." Stupid, stupid, stupid. Honestly, I was just trying to have an adult conversation with my BFF after dinner one night. She had served s'mores for dessert so we gave the boys marshmallows. Dane said "want down, go play" about 80 times before I could get him out of his high chair, and "eat your marshmallow" was my response. Mom of the Year. Right here.
"Oh, wow. I put his poop-stain undies on him for his 2-year well check." I said this right in front of our pediatrician. I guess I wanted her to know that I noticed and he doesn't always wear poop-stain undies, but the minute it came out, I felt even more embarrassed.
"Please get your hand out of your butt crack." Ever since we potty trained Dane, he has an obsession with his crack. I have no idea why. There is no rash. As far as I can tell, it doesn't itch. He just has better access to it now I guess. I don't expect I'll stop saying this one anytime soon.
What are some goofy things you've noticed yourself saying to your kid(s)?
I don't think you have truly lived as a parent until you've had to yell something like, "Oh my God! Put that down! It's poo!" or "I don't care if you pooped your pants, why would you hide it in your shoe?!" I'd like to say that I just make comments in response to my kids' actions, but in all honesty, Andy came home the other day and heard me say, "Ya'll grab your giant pieces of watermelon. We're going to the do the dance again." Because I am convinced these guys are going to be the next singing / dancing / comedic family group. It'll be like my own barbershop quartet except with bad singing and underpants on their heads. Wait for it.
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