Perspective

I was washing a load of laundry this evening while Dane and Jonathan played on the bed.  Dane was playing with Jonathan's wedding ring, taking it on and off of Jonathan's hand, and I overheard Jonathan say "the ring goes on this finger because I love Mama very much."  Melt.my.heart.  What a fantastic lesson for our son to learn.  And I'm not talking about marriage.  Two people that love one another and are committed to one another sharing the joys and sorrows of raising a child together -- that's what I am talking about.  I am so very blessed to have someone to share this parenthood journey with.  Heck, it's tough with two parents; I don't envy those who have to go it alone.

It got me thinking about all those who I don't think are doing a very good job of parenting.  Do I judge you when you breast feed your 4 year old?  Yes.  Do I think you're being irresponsible for turning your 1 year old around in his car seat?  Yes.  Do I think you're being a lazy parent when your four year old is sucking on a pacifier and still in diapers.  Absolutely.

But really, none of it matters.  I know that I make decisions that others don't agree with.  Despite our best efforts, Dane began watching TV before 2 years old.  It was the only thing we found that could get him to sit still for his breathing treatments at 8 months old.  At that point, breathing treatments were more important than his not watching TV.  Am I proud of it?  Nope.  Dane also had to be formula fed.  I hated that and still feel a lot of guilt (22 months after the fact) that I was unable to fulfill this need for him.  I'm sure I got some glares from well-meaning breast feeders everywhere.  What they didn't know is that I have a physical reason that I could not produce enough milk for my son, due to reconstructive surgery I had at 16 years old.

I'm sure the mother of the four year old still in diapers has a good reason as well.  I'm still going to think she's nuts for changing the diaper of a kid who can probably read and write.  I'm still going to give my husband the "wtf?!" eye when I see a parent giving their kid Mountain Dew or sweet tea in a sippy cup.  I will always believe that there is a right and a wrong way to do things and that there isn't a whole lot of gray area, especially when it comes to parenting.  But if you've got two loving parents who treat their child(ren) with kindness and respect, you're 95% of the way there anyway.

Happiness is a Cupcake

Well, not really - but it's certainly unmistakable evidence.  Especially around my house.

About four or five months ago, I took an interest in cooking.  I've always had an interest in food.  Cooking?  Not so much.  Thankfully, I am blessed with Jonathan, who is not only an amazing cook and master of the grill, but he enjoys it. He gets Cooks Illustrated magazine.  It is full of really neat tips and reviews of kitchen tools and ingredients.  But it also happens to be incredibly boring.  I mean, there are no glossy photos of the delicious treats the magazine writes about - just black and white sketches.  And it gets way too scientific for my taste.  But my husband, being an engineer (and nerd), gets really excited when a new issue is in the mailbox.

Now back to my cooking.  I don't really know what happened.  I think it was a combination of several things.  When Dane began to be able to eat "real" food and enjoyed a few of the things I had forced myself to cook, it felt great.  I felt necessary, appreciated, and even a little honored.  Maybe that's how new mothers who are able to breastfeed feel.  (After a torturous 16 days producing a mere 5mL of breastmilk PER DAY, I gave up.  I was devastated.  More on that in another post.)  I knew that by cooking, I was doing something super important for my family, for my child whose brain is rapidly developing.  I began to enjoy planning what to cook and feed the guys and take pride in the whole process.

Then came Pinterest.  There is a daily deluge of deliciousness awaiting me upon login.  (Ahhhh, sorry I got all cheesy, Pinterest brings out the best and worst in me.)  Seriously, Pinterest is food porn.  And because the majority of the pinners I follow are mothers of young children, the recipes are simple and healthful, not to mention beautiful.  Of course there are plenty of muffin-top-inducing sweet treats.  And when I have time and energy to cook those, it's a sure sign that I am feeling my best.  My best pal Jamie got me hooked on Pinterest.  She pestered me for a couple of weeks before I joined.  I have no idea what was keeping me.  If you don't like bandwagons or fancy yourself a "go against the flow" kind of girl, get over yourself and join.  You'll thank me.

Oh, and there's that last component of why I started cooking:  I was finally happy.  For the first time in years, everything seems lined up perfectly.  I'm madly in love with my husband, I'm not in fertility treatments anymore, Dane is well, and I enjoy my job.  No man drama, no egg retrievals, and no more infant reflux.

So yes, in my house, happiness is indeed a cupcake.