Forget Preggo Brain. Mommy Brain is terminal.

When I was pregnant, I did and said lots of really dumb things.  This is the one I remember best.  Jonathan was cooking meatloaf for dinner and I was sitting my happy pregnant butt on the sofa watching Rachel Ray's 30-Minute Meals.  Jonathan walked in the living room, looked at the tv, and said "wow, what's she making?  It looks delicious."  I quickly answered "I don't know but it smells like meatloaf!"  I was not kidding.  I immediately realized that no, we do not have smell-o-vision.  Of course I felt like a big doofus and was thankful that Jonathan was the only one who saw it.  When they witnessed my extra-special behavior, other women told me, "oh, pregnancy brain is the worst!"  I held on to the belief that it would get better after Dane was born.  Hilarious.

What no one tells you (or at least what no one told me) was that yes, pregnancy brain does go away, but it is replaced by a much more serious problem:  mommy brain.  I've heard several theories on why mommy brain exists:

1. Sleep Deprivation - I think this is pretty self-explanatory.  
2. Stay at Home Mommy/Parent syndrome - someone whose job it is (yes, it's a job, I'm not even going to argue that there is any other possibility) to stay at home with an infant or small child every day doesn't get to stretch those intellectual muscles on a daily basis.  The majority of the SAHP's interactions are limited to keeping the toddler from flushing toys down the toilet, trying not to put powdered formula in place of creamer in his/her coffee (yes, Larkin, that one is for you!), and being insanely creative enough to keep everyone occupied and his/herself sane.  This particular theory does not apply to me since I work at least 30 hours a week.  I'm convinced being a SAHP is the hardest job there is, and all of you deserve a ton of respect.
3. Hormonal Changes - Perfectly legit.  I mean, our bodies don't look anything like they used to, even if you weigh the same or less as you did before becoming pregnant.  And there's the fact that finding time to eat healthy and be fit is harder than it was before parenthood.

My favorite theory on mommy brain is what I call focus.  Your priorities suddenly and dramatically shift once you become a parent.  Once upon a time, making sure the house was clean for company was pretty important.  Now I regularly apologize to visitors for the legos and dog hair that litter the floor.  Yes, I am sorry that they're there, but it's not going to change anytime soon and I've learned to be ok with that.  I can recite every medication/dosage that Dane takes and remember every detail from his last pediatrician appointment.  If you ask me to email you my address, I will forget within three minutes of you telling me.  I find it unbelievably hard to focus on anything but my child.  Lunch date with the girls?  All we talk about is our children.  Dinner and a movie with the hubby?  Discussions on what new food to introduce Dane to next.  I have no idea if this will get better as Dane gains more independence.  I guess I'll tell you in another five years.

The worst thing about mommy brain?  You keep forgetting you have it!  You actually think you can still function like a normal human being.  WRONG.  Case in point:  I made a pound cake several months ago that I had made about four times in the previous few weeks.  I knew the recipe by heart, so I surveyed my pantry for the necessary ingredients and went to the store to pick up the ones I didn't have.  I get home and realize I didn't buy almond extract.  I leave the cake batter in the mixer, run to the store, get back home and finish the batter.  I go to pour the batter into the pan and realize I don't have a bundt pan.  I go back to the store, buy a bundt pan, wash and dry it, then see the bundt pan that we've had for six years staring back at me.  Why did I rely on my jacked-up memory to make a cake?  I have a smart phone.  I could have easily looked up the ingredients while I was in the store.  But that's just it.  You forget that you're forgetful.

By the way, I'm writing this blog as unfinished cake batter sits in my mixer and my husband is going to get eggs that I sent him after.  Yes, I've already been to the grocery store once this morning.  Oops.  Mommy brain strikes again.