This Mother's Choice

Ok, folks.  This might ruffle some feathers.

Dane was born via elective Cesarean Section.  I know, I know; how very uncool of me.

Jonathan and I decided before we were ever pregnant that if we were blessed with a child, he or she (or they!) would be delivered by c-section.  I wanted, for once, to feel like we had some control over what happened in my uterus.  And after 3+ years of waiting for our child, we felt uncomfortable leaving anything up to chance.  I understand that there are increased risks for the mother and infant that are associated with a c-section delivery, but I kept thinking of all the horror stories about cords wrapped around necks, fetal distress, etc.  Not to mention all the women I know who went through horrible, intense labors only to end up with a c-section anyway.  Not only did those women end up with all the issues that vaginal birth creates (I am not even going to go there) but also a big ol' scar and all the issues that go along with c-sections (again, not gonna go there).

Some of the arguments against c-sections:

Women have been doing this naturally for thousands of years.  This little nugget is usually spoken by someone who had an epidural.  and delivered in a hospital.  with her ipod playing in the background.  (Nothing wrong with any of those things, by the way.)  Seriously, this is the stupidest piece of "knowledge" I have ever heard.  Women have also been dying during childbirth for millions of years.  "Nature" had failed me for three years already, and if it wasn't for medical intervention, Dane would never have been born.

Your body was born to do this.  Oh yeah?  My body was also born to get pregnant.  Oops.  I think "nature" missed that one too.

The recovery time is longer.  Um, nope.  Not for everyone.  I had less pain, took less narcotics, and had many less long-term issues than any of my friends who delivered around the same time as me.  In fact, when my mom called me the day after Dane was born to see if I needed her to bring anything to the hospital, I asked for a disposable razor.  I shaved my legs 36 hours after Dane was born (and did a damn good job of it too).  Also, I was going places with him by myself when he was three weeks old.

Due dates aren't always right.  This is completely true.  I know that estimated due dates are just that: estimated.  But not in our case.  Because Dane is an IVF baby, we knew the exact moment he was conceived (Halloween 2009!).  There was no mistaking it for us.

Even though a c-section was planned from the beginning, I had placenta previa.  It resolved itself at about 32 weeks, but a low-lying placenta does not usually allow for a vaginal birth because the mothers don't typically progress.  Also, Dane was measuring 5 1/2 weeks ahead from the start.  One of the doctors in the practice even told me "nothing good comes from delivering a child this large vaginally."  Well, except the child of course :)  They were worried about how large he was and would have continued to monitor me and request that I consider early induction if his growth continued along that path.  But because I was already scheduled for a section, they felt comfortable without the extra ultrasounds.

My doctor's office only scheduled c-sections after 39 weeks (very responsibly), so Dane's birthday was to be the Monday after I turned 39 weeks.

Dane had other plans.  My water broke the Thursday before my scheduled c-section at 11:05pm.  Labor hit me like a truck.  I was fully unprepared to deal with contractions.  Dane was born Friday at 4:46am.  In the almost six hours I had been laboring, I did not dilate.  Dane would have been born via c-section anyway.  And at 8 pounds, 13 ounces, 22.5 inches long, boy am I glad he was!

The truth is, if you want to deliver your baby in a river wearing only beads while a doula tells you how perfect and beautiful you are as a child rips out of your body, do it!  That's your choice.  If you want to allow your doctor to induce you because you will lose your mind if you spend another second pregnant and are approaching or past your due date, that's your choice.  And because it's your choice, it's also the perfect choice for your baby in the same way that my choice was the perfect choice for Dane.  As mothers, some of the first decisions we are responsible for making are about the birth of our children.  And we have to make those decisions based on what doctors tell us and what we feel in our hearts.  I'm not advocating for elective cesarean sections, I'm advocating for people to respect a mother's choice about how her child comes into this crazy world.